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Local Woman ‘Accidentally’ Joins a Cult After Misinterpreting a Very Vague Pilates Class Description
Madison Vance thought the chanting was for core strength and the ceremonial robes were just “thermal-regulatory gear.” It turns out “The Ascendant Core” isn’t a boutique Pilates studio—it’s a doomsday cult worshiping a subterranean entity. But hey, her obliques have never looked better.
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