Have you ever felt like the regular, everyday lies and bullsheet of the world just aren’t enough? Do you crave fabrications with a bit more… pizzazz? Then it’s time to stop being a “visitor” and start being a Member of The Real Fake Times.

For the price of a fancy latte (or three very sad hamburgers) a month, you can unlock a world of truth-adjacent luxury:

Access to premium Articles!

Why settle for standard-issue nonsense? Our members get the high-grade stuff. These are stories so absurd, even your conspiracy-theorist uncle would do a double-take.

Automatic Prize Enrollment!

You’re already entered! You could win anything from a signed photo of our resident cat anchor to a slightly used invisible unicycle. There is also cash prizes!. Sweet sweet cash!….It’s mainly cash folks.

You could win $50, $100,$250, or $500 just for being a monthly member! Odds of winning are currently between 1 in 200.

(Must be a Canadian resident unless stated otherwise)

Exclusive Contests!

Compete in contests like, Create the Next Global Headlines for us and win cash, and your name on the article. No creating the article, we will handle all that sexy stuff. All you do is just create the ultimate sexy funny title(PG-13 folks). Have a website or social page you want to advertise that wont get us sued for advertising it? We will add a link to it in the article under your name if you win. Free advertising? whaaaaat? Kaching, am I right?

To see current contest click Here

(Must be a Canadian resident unless stated otherwise)

Secret Classified Memes!

Access our underground vault of memes so dank they’ve been banned by the Galactic Federation(vault coming soon! Its not Danky enough to present yet).. These are strictly for eyes that have been cleared for 100% pure irony(Vault may or may not exist).

Win prizes!

Such as, a pack of ramen or 5 gum, more money, maybe gift cards? Amazon? Walmart? Hello, anybody there? Sure we can get you an amazon gift card if you win though. You gotta win, be our chosen ones. Does that even make sense? Ones? It is singular,,not plural. How about our chosen wons? Yes, that sounds right folks! Maybe decorative soaps? A signed picture of a cat purrrhaps?….No Fear dear member, The prizes will be spectacular!

(Must be a Canadian resident unless stated otherwise)

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