Tag: Monica Gump Bubbastein
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The Department of Redundancy Department Unveils New Redundancy Policy for Extra Redundancy
The Department of Redundancy Department (DRD) has unveiled its new Federal Redundancy and Duplication Policy, requiring all government documents to be written twice, two times, in a move that’s either brilliant bureaucracy or a…
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Dr. Barnaby Flux Suggests Replacing Handshakes With High-Fives for Maximum Workplace Efficiency
Dr. Barnaby Flux, Canada’s Minister of Cognitive Compliance, wants to replace handshakes with high-fives — claiming they save 0.7 seconds and provide an “auditory reset” for maximum productivity. Monica Gump Bubbastein counters with “Aggressive…
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Gladys Pepperstein 007 First Light Game Review: A Local Grandmother Game Review of the James Bond Origin Story Game
Gladys Pepperstein returns to review the new James Bond origin story game, 007 First Light, and finds it severely lacking in pie, proper knitwear, and common decency. She gives it a 0/10 for Knitting…
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3000-Year-Old Mermaid ‘Onetail’ Discovered Off Guyana Coast; Claims Ocean Living is Best Way to Avoid Rent Hikes
A 3000-year-old mermaid named Onetail surfaces in Guyana to explain how living underwater is the ultimate hack for avoiding the global housing crisis and property taxes. While scientists are fascinated by her scales, she’s…
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UK Rebrands 1 Million Unemployed Youth as ‘Freelance Urban Philosophers’
The UK government has officially decommissioned the term ‘unemployed’ for citizens aged 18 to 24, legally redesignating 1 million NEETs as “Freelance Urban Philosophers.” The strategic rebrand, part of a broader Department for Work…
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Company Announces Layoffs, Rebrands Them As “Surprise Leisure Grants”
Toronto-based Cloud-Burst Logic rebrands mass layoffs as a revolutionary wellness program called ‘Surprise Leisure Grants,’ gifting employees 24/7 free time without pay.
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Local Woman Successfully Pays Hydro Bill With Monopoly Money Due to Legal Loophole
Annetta Renner discovered a 1922 legal loophole that forced her utility company to accept Monopoly money as payment. Read how the “spirit of fair play” saved her $412 and turned a utility clerk’s day…
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Ronald Plump Postpones “Scheduled Attack” After Realizing He Forgot to Cancel His Disney+ Subscription
Ronald Plump officially postponed his much-hyped “Scheduled Attack” Tuesday morning after discovering a recurring $15.99 charge from Disney+. The delay, which has left tactical teams on standby, was attributed to a lengthy dispute with…
Tag: Monica Gump Bubbastein
-
The Department of Redundancy Department Unveils New Redundancy Policy for Extra Redundancy
The Department of Redundancy Department (DRD) has unveiled its new Federal Redundancy and Duplication Policy, requiring all government documents to be written twice, two times, in a move that’s either brilliant bureaucracy or a…
-
Dr. Barnaby Flux Suggests Replacing Handshakes With High-Fives for Maximum Workplace Efficiency
Dr. Barnaby Flux, Canada’s Minister of Cognitive Compliance, wants to replace handshakes with high-fives — claiming they save 0.7 seconds and provide an “auditory reset” for maximum productivity. Monica Gump Bubbastein counters with “Aggressive…
-
Gladys Pepperstein 007 First Light Game Review: A Local Grandmother Game Review of the James Bond Origin Story Game
Gladys Pepperstein returns to review the new James Bond origin story game, 007 First Light, and finds it severely lacking in pie, proper knitwear, and common decency. She gives it a 0/10 for Knitting…
-
3000-Year-Old Mermaid ‘Onetail’ Discovered Off Guyana Coast; Claims Ocean Living is Best Way to Avoid Rent Hikes
A 3000-year-old mermaid named Onetail surfaces in Guyana to explain how living underwater is the ultimate hack for avoiding the global housing crisis and property taxes. While scientists are fascinated by her scales, she’s…
-
UK Rebrands 1 Million Unemployed Youth as ‘Freelance Urban Philosophers’
The UK government has officially decommissioned the term ‘unemployed’ for citizens aged 18 to 24, legally redesignating 1 million NEETs as “Freelance Urban Philosophers.” The strategic rebrand, part of a broader Department for Work…
-
Company Announces Layoffs, Rebrands Them As “Surprise Leisure Grants”
Toronto-based Cloud-Burst Logic rebrands mass layoffs as a revolutionary wellness program called ‘Surprise Leisure Grants,’ gifting employees 24/7 free time without pay.
-
Local Woman Successfully Pays Hydro Bill With Monopoly Money Due to Legal Loophole
Annetta Renner discovered a 1922 legal loophole that forced her utility company to accept Monopoly money as payment. Read how the “spirit of fair play” saved her $412 and turned a utility clerk’s day…
-
Ronald Plump Postpones “Scheduled Attack” After Realizing He Forgot to Cancel His Disney+ Subscription
Ronald Plump officially postponed his much-hyped “Scheduled Attack” Tuesday morning after discovering a recurring $15.99 charge from Disney+. The delay, which has left tactical teams on standby, was attributed to a lengthy dispute with…
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